Cancer Ever After

Musings on Infertility, Adoption, Cancer and Widowhood.

The Name Game

on 12/30/2014

For those who know the drama that occurred with naming our twins, you’ll be surprised to hear that naming our son came easily. Tim and I started a name jar with our first pregnancy. As soon as we found out, we began putting names into a jar on folded slips of paper. And while that pregnancy didn’t end well, the hope was still there and we continued to sporadically add names to the jar. As months of trying turned into a year, we tucked the jar away until we got pregnant again. Then we immediately dug it back out and began filling it with names again. All the names we added were folded so we couldn’t see them and we didn’t share the names with each other.

After we lost the second pregnancy, the name jar was banished to a closet and began to collect dust. We waited a while before bringing out the jar with our successful pregnancy, but bring it out we did. This time, we actually looked at the names and made comparisons. Tim and I did not have a single girl’s name in common in the jar. In fact, we were worlds apart in our name suggestions. Tim leaned towards more common names (a.k.a., boring) and I kept my family’s tradition going by having some off-the-wall suggestions (like Paisley)!

Needless to say, finding common ground on not one, but TWO names proved to be a challenge. We debated and disagreed and ultimately came up with THE LIST. A list of names that we thought we wanted. One day we were going to visit my family and had about nine hours of uninterrupted driving time, so we brought the list and my phone so we could consult with, a baby naming website. It was the longest negotiation of my life.

I was anticipating a similar level of drama when we tried to choose a name for this baby. We had thrown away those slips when we had our girls because we figured we’d never be able to afford treatments again and/or let me get pregnant again. But we had looked at both girls’ and boys’ names and we both put the same boys’ name in twice. A name made it in the jar FOUR times, so you’d think this would be the name we’d pick, right?

Wrong. This name hadn’t undergone the verbal test, nickname test, or bully test. Once we began testing the name, it was crossed off the list. This meant that it was nameberry to the rescue–I searched for similar names to the one we liked, and, low and behold, after rattling off about five names, I said, “I really like this one.” Tim said, “Me, too.”

It really was that easy. We went from nine hours of heated negotiation to finding a name in five minutes. Damn, we’re good!

3 responses to “The Name Game

  1. bosmalife says:

    Can not wait to find out what the name is 🙂


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