Cancer Ever After

Musings on Infertility, Adoption, Cancer and Widowhood.

Somebody Hand Me a Dull Spoon

on 01/01/2015

“Don’t come home with your gallbladder or I’ll carve it out myself.” Not one of my finest moments when I said this to my husband as he headed to the ER. To give you a little back story, my family is infamous for our bedside manner. “I don’t see a bone sticking out–you’re fine” should be embroidered on our pillows. It’s not an excuse, it’s just an explanation of my mindset when it comes to medical issues.

One of our goals when we started this adoption process was to keep our medical expenses under control. It’s funny how sometimes life has other plans. I started a new job in February of this year, a job I took because they were a smaller employer and professed to be more of a lifestyle company–a little more flexible. With two preemies who had visits with specialists, this seemed like a really good idea. I needed flexibility.

What I didn’t realize was that I would have not one, not two, but THREE deductibles in the same calendar year. We hit our first deductible in January due to Hazel having to go to the hospital and the visits with the specialist for both twins. When we started the new insurance after I changed jobs, my husband’s appendix ruptured THE WEEK our new deductible started. I realize that it’s never good when an appendix ruptures, but really why couldn’t it have happened one week sooner? And now this.

Unbeknownst to me, my new employer had a December to December plan year. We started a new deductible on December 1. Tim was writhing in pain, all the urgent cares were closed and an ER visit was our only option. That didn’t mean I was happy about it. We debated waking the girls, because surgery looked like a strong possibility, or whether it was safe for Tim to drive himself to the ER. We opted for Tim to go the ER, and I went back to bed because the girls would be waking up in a few hours. I gave Tim strict instructions to call or text me with an update.

When I woke up at 5 a.m. and there was no phone call or text from Tim, I began to get worried, but both girls were up. I moved them into the kitchen and started to call him when I realized he was sleeping on the couch. I asked him what the verdict was and he said it was not considered an emergency gallbladder removal; he had a follow-up appointment to determine if it would be taken out and then they would schedule surgery. Not the answer I was expecting, so please excuse me, but my first thought was, “I can take the guesswork out of that without another hospital visit. Just hand me a dull spoon.”

Like I said, not my finest moment.  But, sometimes life throws you curveballs. We’ll roll with this.  We won’t let it derail this adoption.  Things like this come up, there will be expenses with the new baby.  We’ll find a way.  That’s what parents do.  There is always a way.  We just have to have faith.

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