Cancer Ever After

Musings on Infertility, Adoption, Parenthood and Cancer

It Was the Best of Times. It Was the Worst of Times

on 04/01/2016

From everything I’ve read and from talking to other Cancer patients, the second round of chemo is typically worse.  For some of the meds, it’s more of a cumulative effect and you might not feel them until the second round.

Because of this, my mom had offered to take the kids after my second treatment.   With Tim having bronchitis and me having chemo, we both thought this was for the best, but DAMN it was hard.

Turns out, Chemo #2 was both better and worse.  They adjusted my anti-naseau meds, so that part was a lot better.  But we still had my lovely constipation issues which have more of a cumulative effect.

See that lovely pregnant-looking belly? No I’m not pregnant, that’s what the side-effectsof chemo can make your belly look like.  It’s as uncomfortable as it looks.

image

 

So while, I was glad the the med changes helped with how I felt overall after chemo, I must say, some problems were rather, well,  large.

It was hard without the kiddos.  I didn’t realize how much they distract me from how I feel and how I manage to force myself to do more when they are around. And my mom had them for a week, which feels like forever when you are throwing a pity party of one.

While I missed them greatly, I had a really happy/sad moment when we tried to FaceTime them.  The girls were having so much fun, they couldn’t be bothered to talk to us, and Baby H started crying when he saw our faces.  Needless to say, it was a very long week because we didn’t try that again.  I had to resort to picture updates.

Cancer is teaching me a lot about letting go and letting others do things for me.  Prior to this, we’ve spent very few evenings or nights away from the kids.  We both work and it feels like we already get so little time with them. But we are a man down in our house and we need the break.  This is stressful for us in a thousand little ways, and I just get so tired.

I can only  play “Let’s put mommy to bed” as a game with the kids so many times. They want to run and play.  Even Baby H is walking now, they are constantly on the move, and when I’m tired I have trouble keeping up.  It’s not fair to choose only sedentary activities.

So despite wanting to spend all of my time with them, I have to let go, at least a little.  This helps me make my time with them the very best time.  I can be rested so that we can do fun stuff together. And that’s what counts.

 

Advertisements

One response to “It Was the Best of Times. It Was the Worst of Times

  1. sewingbutterfly says:

    You are doing smashingly! The kids will benefit from grand parent time too. It will do wonders for their bond and create special memories. Hoping you are feeling a bit better soon. Good luck for your treatment and I will keep an eye out for next update.

    Like

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out /  Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s

%d bloggers like this: